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23 December 2007 @ 11:33 pm
The pastor's wife approves.  
I find it interesting that my family can be quite close-minded and the people you wouldn't necessarily expect to be open-minded truly are. Check this out:

My family gives me the strangest comments all the time. I mean, they love me and they honestly do respect me and my personal decisions in most cases. I know this. But sometimes, I just wanna choke a bitch, you feel me? When I pierced my eyebrow last summer in Vegas, I would get comments from my mom/aunts/grandma like "Shonna, you are SO BEAUTIFUL, why would you do that to your face?" Huh? Because I find piercings attractive, perhaps.

Or when I started stretching my earlobes (which are currently only stretched to 8g - and I plan to stop at 4g, in case you were interested) and they just goggled at me like I was from an alien planet. "Why would you do that to your EARS!??! OMG!" Ummm, why not? Gauges turn me on. What?

And now, ahahaha, the blue hair. Sheesh, you'd think I converted to Scientology and legally changed my name to something only pronounceable in Klingon. "Shonna, your hair was such a pretty shade, why would you dye it BLUE?!?!" Oh god, seriously. Give me a freakin' break. It is JUST HAIR. And DUDE, I happen to LIKE IT! I think it is very complimentary to my eyes, and plan to do it AGAIN. Have a little fun with your lives, people!

I want everyone reading to take note that none of the above modifications I've made are in any way permanent. Please, for my sanity, tell me that I have the right as a 30 year old woman with a husband and a child to do the above things without extensive scrutiny. They make me feel like I'm ruining my life and my looks and my self-respect because I'm a little bit different. Now seriously, I don't really feel this way at all, but that's the impression they give.

On the other hand, the Wednesday after I did the blue hair dye shenanigans (i still love it by the way, even as it fades to a lovely shade of green - hee!) we had a ladies' Christmas luncheon at church. We attend a very small Baptist church in my little town - probably 15 ladies in attendance at the luncheon. We were standing in line getting our salads and whatnot when the pastor's wife comes up to me and says the following (not verbatim, because I'm not that talented at conversational recall): "Shonna, I just wanted to tell you that I'm so glad you dyed half of your hair blue. I was seriously afraid that you were losing your edge and it is about time you did a little something to shake things up a bit." Or something to that effect. She really really likes it - thinks that coloring my hair in a nontraditional color suits me. I love her, did I mention this? She was more open about every change I've made than my own mother. My mom isn't a close-minded person, either. I just....I'm glad for Rhonda, the pastor's wife, is all I'm saying. Rhonda is always interested in what music I'm listening to and every time I do something new or different to myself she wants to know about it, in a very "I am intrigued, please tell me more" kind of way. LOVE HER.

I understand that it isn't every day that someone in Galena Park, Texas dyes her hair blue and pierces a part of her face and stretches her earlobes. I get it. But why do you even CARE?! Why does it bother you so much. Why can't I just be me and do what makes me happy and not get criticized for it. I think the things I've done look good and I plan to do more. Am I delusional? Do I look like crap and all of my friends are just afraid to tell me?

Just wait until I start getting the tattoos. Muahahaha. Oh man. :P

/rambly, ranty thing. I feel better.

Now, back to your recently scheduled holiday activities.

As you were children, as you were. ♥
Current Location: home
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: 504 Plan
hobos are the new unicornsjzbell on December 24th, 2007 06:09 am (UTC)
Oh, man, I know what that's like, and I haven't even done half the things I'd like. :/ My grandmother freaked out when she realized I dyed the under part of my hair brown. I'd really like to do it pink, but every time I so much as mention it, my mother flips out. I also think nose rings are cute, and my mother is appalled at the very thought.

I think the blue hair is awesome, though! It looked really great in the pictures, if I didn't say so before. I probably didn't, I'm crap at commenting.
I AM  YOUR WIFE!eckerlilas on December 24th, 2007 06:23 am (UTC)
See, I just don't get it, I guess. Who am I offending by dying my hair or getting a piercing? What if I was disgusted by my aunt's frosted blonde highlights and fugly dangle earrings? Huh? How is that any different? Because her highlights and 20g earring holes fit in with societal norms? Ugh.

I think you should dye your hair pink and get that nose ring. Nose rings ARE cute. ♥

Thanks. I loved the blue hair. Then I loved it when it was the turquoise hair...and I'm still loving the now faded-to-green hair. *giggle* I'll probably dye it again in January because bucking the system makes my heart all a-flutter. hehe
mercurybard on December 24th, 2007 06:28 am (UTC)
and I'm still loving the now faded-to-green hair. *giggle*
And I'm guessing you didn't go swimming in a cholorinated pool...it does such interesting things to blue hair. ;D I know this from experience.
I AM  YOUR WIFE!eckerlilas on December 24th, 2007 06:32 am (UTC)
Ahahaha. Nope. It is just naturally fading to green. I'm guessing this is from the bleached blonde hair trying to peek out from underneath. hehe.

Oh Cody. I'll bet that did make your blue hair an interesting shade of GREEN! :P
mercurybard on December 24th, 2007 06:43 am (UTC)
Si~ and I hadn't even bleached underneath!
I AM  YOUR WIFE!eckerlilas on December 24th, 2007 06:25 am (UTC)
And don't worry about the commenting. Sometimes I comment like crazy and sometimes I just read my entire flist (because seriously, I read every line of all personal journal entries on my flist, no lie) and then NEVER comment. I'm a yo-yo commentor. *nods*
mercurybard on December 24th, 2007 06:26 am (UTC)
My oldest sister, Charity, is an intercessory missionary at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. She's on the Night Watch, which means she prays from midnight to dawn while the rest of us sleep. Her faith is utterly amazing.

Yet, this is the sister who is more hardcore than anyone I've ever met. She's gone into punk mosh pits in flipflops. She has a laberet.

She first got the piercing when she graduated from high school. Then, she applied for the youth internship at our Presbytarian church where the pastor makes a big deal of not trying to separate the modern and traditional elements of worship. But he wouldn't let her have the internship until she took the laberet out. My parents were furious with him. Other Mommy still gets worked up every time she talks about this.

So, Charity took it out. That Sunday she was scheduled to give testimony in front of the entire congregation, both services. She had been in the bus crash in '99 coming home from the church ski trip. She was lucky in that she came away with a broken leg and a deep cut near her eye (she still has the scar and told our parents that she isn't interested in ever having cosmetic work done to repair it because it's a daily reminder of a horrible event that nevertheless made her faith in God stronger).

The night before she gave her testimony, Other Mommy sat her down on a chair in the kitchen and dyed her hair blue.

Edited at 2007-12-24 06:29 am (UTC)
I AM  YOUR WIFE!eckerlilas on December 24th, 2007 06:35 am (UTC)
Wow. First of all, I'm both jealous and in awe of your sister's faith. Wow. Seriously.

Also hardcore. She sounds like someone I'd like to know.

Go Other Mommy Go. I am inspired.

mercurybard on December 24th, 2007 06:50 am (UTC)
Wow. First of all, I'm both jealous and in awe of your sister's faith
Ditto. It's hard. If I wrote her in a fic, I'd get accused of inventing a Mary Sue. I forgot that she has a tattoo on the inside of her wrist. It's a religious symbol (looks like an 8-spoke wheel but is really Greek letters piled on top of one another), and she got it in a conspicuous place so people would ask her about it.

Go Other Mommy Go. I am inspired
Both my moms are like "it's hair. it grows out eventually."
I AM  YOUR WIFE!eckerlilas on December 24th, 2007 06:54 am (UTC)
Your sister is that Mary Sue that actually exists. Man, I really want to meet her.

Your moms sound awesome. And they are SO RIGHT.

And you know, my mom is actually pretty awesome too...she is just too afraid of what other people think. Me, I care what y'all think...I just don't let it rule my life. I care about what my friends/family/loved ones think...not so much the random people on the street or other strangers who have nothing better to do with their time than judge me and my HAIR/FACE/EARS.
the fiction in your jeans: misc.fi.ahomewreckerwithaheartofgoldclumsygyrl on December 24th, 2007 06:31 am (UTC)
my parents have given up on my changing my appearance.

i was goth in a catholic high school. hehe.

they gave up.
I AM  YOUR WIFE!eckerlilas on December 24th, 2007 06:37 am (UTC)
I ♥ you.

I wanted to be goth in high school but I was too afraid of bucking my parents back then. Ahahaha, OMG I just now realized something. I think I'm growing up backwards. No really. I was like angel child of perfection up until the age of 18 and then it all went downhill from there. My parents never saw it coming! LMAO

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I AM  YOUR WIFE!eckerlilas on December 24th, 2007 06:47 am (UTC)
Baby Spencer Christmas pic default icon FTW!


I'm gonna post all the pics from the photoshoot one day this week. It is like tiny Spencerfaceapalooza.
the fiction in your jeansclumsygyrl on December 24th, 2007 06:57 am (UTC)
haha i was a good kid, but there's only so much plaid and tartan a kid can wear before she goes crazy.


i ♥ you tooooo!
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I AM  YOUR WIFE!eckerlilas on December 24th, 2007 06:45 am (UTC)
Amen to everything you just said. ♥

She is amazing, seriously. Also funny. She's a great person to be around (and that is definitely not true of your average pastor's wife!).

YesyesYES. Why are you deviating from the norm?!? OMG, are you HIGH? That's the vibe I get sometimes. I think truly this is because I didn't really visibly start straying until my mid 20s. During my teen years I was such a "good little daughter", you know? I mean I was always a little (read: a lot) weird, and they were okay with this and were very willing to point this out - "And this is Shonna, our strange little girl" - And now, NOW I come into my own in other ways and they flip their collective lids. It was like it's okay if she's just a weird thinker who says whatever she wants and argues her point and is just generally DIFFERENT....god forbid I look the part too.

OMG, in my tattoo-filled wet dreams. Sleeves, woo. That would be hot. ♥♥♥
electric_ellie: Howard Moon BUMelectric_ellie on December 24th, 2007 10:22 am (UTC)
Mothers' have traditional ideas of what is 'pretty' and acceptable. I only ever slightly alter my hair colour- eg blonde highlights or going slightly auburn (I naturally have dark blonde hair.) My mum always says she likes it better the first time and 'you have such lovely hair, why have you done that?' Um...because I like a change and I think it looks nice and for fucksake I'm not taking CRACK.

And yeah, I got a second hole pierced in my lobes and my mother told me I looked 'common' and looked like she was going to cry. She still won't talk to me about it nearly a year on. I want to get one cartilage piercing when I'm at Uni next year but she'd probably keel over...

Mothers have expectations and standards which are traditional, and often don't adjust these from when they were young. I know getting my mother to change her opinion about something is like kicking a large tree.
I AM  YOUR WIFE!eckerlilas on December 24th, 2007 02:46 pm (UTC)
You're right. The funny thing is that my mom isn't really hypertraditional, either. She enjoys the fact that I'm different....but only in a general sense. Once I started wanting to change my appearance beyond what she deems "normal", she started reacting negatively. I could get 15 ear piercing and that would be totally fine with her...but I started stretching the main piercing and she hated that. Also, she has NO PROBLEM with me getting a few well-placed tattoos. *shrugs* I had the "those are permanent and nothing else I've done is" discussion with her, but I guess once a mom determines something in her mind....well, that's just the way it is.

Ah well, they don't shun me or anything, they've just deemed me "totally weird". Ahaha, I guess I can deal with that. I get tired of being judged is all. Like you said, I'm not taking CRACK! ♥
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I AM  YOUR WIFE!eckerlilas on December 24th, 2007 02:47 pm (UTC)
Hehe. The fabulousness must be well nurtured in order to thrive! Luckily I have Rhonda....and all of you to keep my fabulousness alive!

natacup82 on December 24th, 2007 02:02 pm (UTC)
Your pastor's wife is pretty awesome.

I've learned to just not give a damn anymore with my family. Everyone on my mom's side has something to say about the way I talk (I will be told I talk like a "white girl" at least 3 times before I leave that house on Christmas) or the music I listen to or any little choice I make. But I don't even give a damn what those people say anymore and usually they aren't even aware that what they say is hurtful because they think they are damn funny.

At this point I don't even care, someone critizes me in my family, I roll my eyes and stand up and look down at the tiny people (I tower over all of them now) and go corrupt their children with rock music. MUWAHAHAHAHA!
I AM  YOUR WIFE!eckerlilas on December 24th, 2007 02:52 pm (UTC)
ilu. ♥

I find that "you talk like a white girl" comment to be the most ridiculous comment I've ever heard. I have so many friends who get that all the time. Ridiculous and hurtful and just plain stupid. I'm sorry you have to deal with that....but I guess you are used to it by now. You know, you'd think your family would get tired of saying the same tired shit over and over again. Then again, mine don't get tired of saying things to me....so maybe it's just a family thing. *shrugs*

I am a tiny person, but something tells me you and I would get along just fine. <3
Ahahaha, I'm the corruptor in my family too. You shall bring them the rock music and it will be GOOD! Muahahaha :D I converted those kids so quickly that before they knew it they had a different crowd of friends and they were artfully combining their bangs over their eyes and wearing skinny leg jeans and converse. My work here is DONE!

Racho: jesusgaymarriedkill_i_oughtta on December 24th, 2007 03:32 pm (UTC)
I totally understand what you're saying. I mean I'm only 20 and when I was 17/18 I got my septum peirced, everyone thought I was dumb, I kept getting the 'why did you do that?'. I still have it, but I never wear it down or anything but I just want to keep it. And it kind of bugged me to have people think it's something so ugly and stupid. It's not their business why I have it.
Same with my ears, I did have them gauged, I had two on each side (one was 6g the other was 8g) and some thought it was just so stupid. They aren'y gauged anymore, but when they were, I liked it.
I don't know, it's frustrating when people can't accept certain things, I guess. :/

I rambled too much, I blame it on no sleep. lol